TLA's, buzzwords and gobbledygook - Has marketing really come to this?

For about the first time this year, I have managed to put my head above the parapet, take a deep breath and start to check out the latest and greatest thinking in marketing. However, I wish I hadn’t. I feel like I have just arrived in round 7 with Andy Ruiz Jr! With the big blows coming from an unprecedented combo of TLA’s (three letter acronyms), buzz words and gobbledygook. I’ve been in the marketing world for over twenty years and I am amazed at our ability to simply make this nonsense up.

Here are the top 10 marketing TLA’s, buzzwords and gobbledygook I have come across in the last few days, with my interpretation of their meaning. Enjoy!

10. Personlisation - getting your data in order so that you call your customer by their first name

9. Micro-influencer - someone with a few followers on [insert social media platform] that is happy to take your marketing budget to say they use your [insert product here] with little tangible return on investment. As an aside, I love Tom Fishburne’s cartoon on influencer marketing. It reads “How do we work with fake influencers with fake followers and fake engagement in a more authentic way?”

8. Algorithms - some black magic that turns data into, um, more data. And the results are riddled with unconscious bias.

7. Algos - trendier term for algorithms, used by those trying to sound like they are ‘down with’ the data scientists

6. Content shock - the effect of producing/consuming so much content it makes your head explode and eyes bleed

5. Ephemeral content - content that is available not quite long enough for anybody to see it, heightening FOMO

4. FOMO - anxiety caused by not being confident enough with your own [insert: life; experiences, marketing strategy, creative, etc as appropriate]

3. Agile marketing - splitting tasks up so that everyone is busy all the time as they reiterate, again and again

2. Tech savvy martecheter - a marketer who can connect their iphone, mac and icloud

1. Consulgencies - consulting firms chasing ad and digital budgets [yes, I genuinely heard this term used in a marketing webinar]

Right, I’m off, it’s time to duck down behind the parapet again and start to make up some incomprehensible and nonsensical gobbledygook to bamboozle everyone including myself.