NOT IN MY NAME: Cokeâs personalised bottles leave a bad taste

I’m afraid the Coke personalised bottle campaign literally isn’t for me.

I was fine with it until I grabbed a bottle today.

Aaron. I was drinking Aaron’s Coke.

I know Aaron, and he’s a… I’m not a fan. Aaron was mean to me in a previous job. So for a certain chunk of my lunch hour I was condemned to ponder a particularly unpleasant, conceited little squirt I’d previously managed to put well out of mind. Even knowing I’d stolen in and pinched his bottle of pop was of little consolation.

I’m not blaming Coke, exactly; I’m a reasonably fair man. I’m also prepared to admit that my grumble is pedantic. As a marketer at Coke, I’d probably ignore me – “there’s always a few” – and turn back to my PowerPoint full of positive media commentary and sales spikes.

And now look at me, ranting about Aaron and spreading the badwill. For all I know, you could have been trying not to remember Aaron, too, and I’ve gone and ruined it for you. Share a Coke? Risky. I make it about 50/50 whether you open happiness or open a can of slightly neurotic worms.

But I’m not by nature a negative man, and I’ve worked out a happy solution: I think next time I’ll pick a Pepsi and think of Beyonce, instead.

By DMA guest blogger Laurence Collings, freelance copywriter