Guaranteed: No-Trump zone

There's only one topic of conversation this week, but we won't be talking about New York property magnates and their political ambitions this week. No. It's all about the week in marketing and advertising.

Do you love Apple? Something of a fanboy? Well if you own an arm (desk?) full of Apple products then the chances are that you have clicked 'I agree' to around 100,000 words of contracts, roughy as many pages as the first Harry Potter book.

The company has been heavily criticised for its inconsistent approach to things like headphone sockets (or lack of on the new iPhone), lightning ports (or lack of on the new laptops). But don't worry. If you are an Apple fanboy we can cheer you up with this new ad, featuring a man of a certain age diving from the high board at the Olympic pool in Barcelona:

What signals the arrival of Christmas?

Is it the turning on of the Oxford Street lights (which by 2120 could be in July according to this projection)

Is it the John Lewis christmas ad?

Or is it when Pret releases the Christmas dinner sandwich?

You must decide.

If Argos already says ‘Christmas’ to you, then you can probably skip this ad, featuring a multi-coloured group of yetis skating through Warsaw to music from Tim Burton’s Nightmare before Christmas.

You may remember a while ago the ANA's report tore open the deals and backhanders publishers give to media agencies. Now, many moons later, Group M’s global head, Irwin Gotlieb, slams that report as ‘business development’, the implication being that the report is fundamentally flawed.

Dominic Mills said the response reminded him of a certain New York property mangate.

Would you like to learn how to write? Try this blog from one of Medium's editors, which features tips and tricks for those writing on the Twitter-affiliated site. The tips are pretty solid.

If you would like a simpler approach to writing, copywriters Asbury&Asbury (who produce the brilliant Perpetual Disappointments diary) have the answer. Make a slogan in poor English at the flick of your wrist with the Slogan Cube. They have examples of brands who may as well have used it.

A quick question - are you sleeping... wrong? Try this guide to help you sleep better in a 'biphasic' pattern. It's like this. You go to sleep early. You wake up. You potter about or do other things. Then you go back to sleep. Apparently this will make you more productive, which will be good. Probably.

Here is a list of 35 user interfaces that in many ways define the modern world.

Perhaps the riskiest campaign slogan ever devised, we're not even sure if this campaign for Australia’s Northern Territory is even real. Calling out the See You Next Tuesday on a potential tourist can’t be great business. Can it? Some other terrible tourism taglines.

This week the ICO intervened in Facebook’s use of WhatsApp data for marketing as Elizabeth Denham wrote to the company to say she didn’t think users had given their consent to share data. Facebook quickly backed down. Facebook was also the place Toblerone announced that it would put less chocolate into its chocolate.

Toyota has dumped Publicis for WPP, leaving Zenith Optimedia and Saatchi & Saatchi for WPP’s &Partnership.

I'm sure that you will have seen this clip of an Iguana chased by snakes from Planet Earth II. It could also be a metaphor for something, but I can't think what...

It's still about the most compelling thing you will see this year: